Thursday 22 September 2011

A new Messiah from Argentina

I'm watching you
After the news That Jesus was to arrive in NZ wearing an All Black outfit, the mainstream media went into a top spin. [This was better and bigger than “Happy Feet”] The Herald rushed David Farrar and John Armstrong into the fray hoping that they as the Heralds top spin reporters would be able to prove that Jesus was just visiting because he wanted to bless John Key after John’s stint as NZ top model, they thought that Jesus most likely thought that John K was an actual All Black in drag since David and John started this bit of PR spin in one of their Nats [free] columns in the Auckland Herald.
Alas poor David was only half way through a conversation with John Key and propaganda expert Steven Joyce about strategy when a local reporter from the Manawatu Standard discovered the newly arrived Jesus here in Palmerston North.

Yes its true Jesus had arrived and he was located talking to and blessing a local beggar on Broadway Ave. Jesus was staying at the old Sheppard’s Rest boarding house rather than with the Nats local candidate hotel owner…When asked why he was staying at the Sheppard’s Rest he answered, “Because its closer to real people and it reminds me of my birth place a couple of thousand years ago”… When the shocked Manawatu Standard reporter found his voice he asked the jean and T shirt clad long haired young man who had just blessed one of our city beggars, “Who are you?
The young man answered, “I’m a rugby fan and I’m here to support Argentina”,
“Really, and is your name Jesus” said the reporter.
“Your not a Pharisee are you”, asked Jesus gently.
“Oh no, but I did play a part in our local production of Jesus Christ Superstar”, said the reporter proudly.
“That’s nice”, replied Jesus, the show was a bit over the top, but it had some good moments”, he added. Now as to my name, yes it is Jesus”.
The reporter was stunned but not lost for words…”So is this, the second coming”, he uttered.
“No, said the young Jesus, but if Argentina wins the RWC it’ll be the next best thing”.
“So who are you really”, asked the reporter showing better self control.
“Well as I said my name is Jesus C. Constantine and my present abode is in Argentina”, he said as turned back to the beggar and said, “Now that that is settled what say you and I go over the road and break some bread at the Subway CafĂ©”

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